


Moon and Stars

by xsynhvx



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Drama, Except for some parents, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sirius Black, Getting Together, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:34:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29702718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xsynhvx/pseuds/xsynhvx
Summary: After meeting in an orphanage and quickly becoming friends, Remus and Sirius have a hard time talking about their feelings, that is until the night of full moon arrives, and they bond over the stars in the sky.Non-magical AU that takes place in Hogwarts during 1976 onwards.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome!  
> Okay, so, first CW for dark thoughts and hints for child abuse, if you are having a bad day or these things trigger you in any way please do not read :( take care of yourself. With that being said, I hope you enjoy your reading.

Moon and stars, that's what caught Remus's attention when he found himself at the edge of unconsciousness. His limbs felt heavy, yet tingly and numb at the same time. His mind was also absent, as if he was somewhere else entirely, and the events happening around him weren't even taking place. With his back against the pavement, Remus realized breathing hurted like hell. He figured he had some broken ribs, because the slightest movement made him moan in pain. After processing everything as rationally as he could, the teenager decided not to move, and laid still instead, gazing at the sky with his pulse racing like crazy.

Luckily, reality did not hit him. Remus was in a state of shock after the traumatic experience he had to endure. All the boy knew at the moment was that he was unable to move without feeling pain, that he felt weak and couldn't really control his body properly, and that the full moon stood above him, bright and distant, yet so close at the same time.

Finding impossible to process the accident and with his mind rejecting the events, he did not look at the bodies of his recently deceased parents, who were cheerful and alive just some moments ago. Instead, his eyes pottered through various constellations that painted the sky like a canvas, with its dark blue background, and gigantic round moon looking straight at him. He felt seen, like he wasn't alone.

From a place of total disconnection, Remus rambled on about living there, creating scenarios in his brain that served as a way of coping. He did not consider removing the glass pieces that pierced through his skin and caused blood to pour down like small waterfalls, like tears he could not cry. Remus did not move, he did not scream, he just stared at the moon and stars above him, and all he saw was blue, sparkles and brightness blessing his eyes. Blue was such a mesmerizing colour, considered his favourite from now on and for forever.

After gazing for too long, Remus felt sleepy. Too sleepy to care about the distant sirens that came to his rescue. His eyelids were as heavy as his body, eyeballs itching as if he hadn't blinked in hours. Remus decided to let himself go, because if he had to be honest, he was exhausted. While sound grew closer and closer, to Remus everything was distorted. In his ears, said sirens reminded him of howlings of a pack, quickly approaching him to devour his flesh and bones. Yet, he did not move. Again, he was exhausted, too exhausted and hurt to care.

When Remus thought everything was too much for him to handle, he decided to doze off. The last thought that crossed his imagination was one in where his parents were looking at the magnificent night sky, although deep down, he knew they couldn't, even if he did not accept that just yet.

So he closed his eyes, and finally, everything was pitch black.

* * *

Remus awoke in a hospital, that much he knew, he recognized hospitals. He noticed the lights in the ceiling and immediately felt dizzy, his head aching as if hammers were smashing from the inside. The best thing he could come up with was keeping his eyes closed for a little longer.

Apart from the blinding brightness, pain was something that was brought to his attention as well. He could feel it all over his body, and just trying to sit with his back against the wall was agonizing, it took him nearly five minutes to do so, but he won at the end, resting without moving.

Pain was not an uncommon trait in Remus's life, he was used to it and what's even worse, he now thought he deserved it. A voice in his head kept telling him pain was his punishment for being alive, and sadly he listened. He did not know why, but he now believed pain was there for a reason.

Remus had a list of questions that popped up every three seconds, and none of them could be answered by him. His parents, where were they? The bandages, why were they covering pretty much all of his body? The hospital, what on Earth was he doing there? He knew it must've been something bad considering his state, but he did not know what caused it. A sense of anxiety was crawling from within, and could not do a lot to intervene with his negative thoughts.

He managed to put those to rest when a short nurse with white hair came into the room, pleased to find Remus awake, staring at her with his emerald eyes. She walked to him and managed to examine the teenager, even if he had the urge to ask questions first. Remus knew the procedure the nurse put him through, it was a huge surprise for her to see this sixteen-year-old boy comply to everything without even being told what to do. He already _knew_ what to do, so it took them little time to finish, yet Remus thought time, little or not, was being wasted, and he wanted to know what was going on _now_.

When the nurse finished, he took a closer, more detailed look at her. She seemed kind, and somehow reminded him a lot of his mother.

"Where are my parents?" he asked with a broken voice and dry mouth.

Even if he did not ask, she still handed the boy a glass of water that was resting on the nightstand and insisted he should take it. He drank it in record time and the lady smiled slightly, taking the empty glass between her palms, gazing at him with what he could recognize as pity. Remus hated pityness more than anything else in the world.

"May I sit down?" she asked calmly, pointing at the bed.

He nodded, but was not patient. He did not wait to ask again, feeling a strange feeling of emptiness crawling up his stomach and chest. It was an awful emotion, something he had never felt before, and hoped he never had to feel again.

She was not answering, why was she not answering?

"Where are my parents?" he repeated, this time sounding severely desperate.

His breathing was erratic, even if he suffered everytime he inhaled. He was hyperventilating, chest aching as if he was having a heart attack. Such thing was not happening, but it surely felt like it to Remus.

"Where are they?" he questioned one more time, but could't help sounding defeated.

The nurse gently grabbed his hands, squeezing them a little. He understood what that smile on her face meant, the reason why she looked at him with pity was clear all of a sudden. Time stopped.

Remus could feel like the room was spinning, he felt as if a huge stone was thrown at his stomach destroying everything inside, as if his lungs just didn't exist and he couldn't breathe anymore, as if his brain melted and not a single thought could be processed correctly, as if a knot was stuck in his throat, and was slowly suffocating.

So he did what seemed logical at that moment: he cried his eyes out, he screamed until he ruined his vocal cords. The nurse was holding him tight, hands caressing his back and hair while he felt his chest desintegrating with pure sadness that could not be contained. He thought that not even him deserved such thing. No one deserved such thing, and yet, it was happening to him.

Tears were boiling against his cheeks, down his neck and into the bed sheets, he could not stop them, he felt like his heart was about to explode, the nurse didn't say anything when he felt like punching her chest asking for them to come back. He was like a beast with no control, someone that lost his only anchor on Earth, his ground wire. He felt empty, and scared, and angry, and alone. He was empty, he was scared, he was angry, and he was alone.

He pushed the lady away, holding his body. He only had himself now, and could not count on anyone else. Nonetheless, the nurse was still there with him, clearly affected by the situation. After a few minutes passed, she breathed in deeply, and took the boy in her arms without saying anything. He couldn't help starting sobbing again, this time he did not push her away, he needed someone to hug him like that.

"I'm truly sorry for your loss, dear."

 _It_ _should have been me,_ Remus thought.

* * *

He remained there two months, two months that felt like years. The nurse visited him everyday, and soon learned that her name was Poppy Pomfrey. She was kind and sweet, yet responsible and caring at the same time. They became friends, and even though Remus never had an adult as a friend before, he was destroyed and knew that the only person that stood by his side on the worst moment of his life was her. He didn't really care that much about the age of the nurse, he focused only on her heart and intentions. Remus knew he needed her, and found comfort in her company, it made the weight of the loss a lot more bearable.

Remus wanted to know the reason he was at the hospital, and she had no problem explaining everything. His parents and him were in a car accident from which only Remus survived. Apparently, he lost a lot of blood on his way there and was in shock for a while before falling asleep again, he had serious injuries all over: three broken ribs that were now cured, glass pieces that left scars everywhere on his body, even his face. She told him it was a miracle none of those pieces popped an artery. On top of all of that, his hip seemed to be damaged beyond repair. He could walk, but the hip was going to cause him some trouble.

He looked ugly, he felt that way, emotionally and physically. He was alone, truly alone. No relatives or guardians out there willing to take him, no one, he only had Poppy Pomfrey and a lot of scars as a souvenir.

"So, what's going to happen to me?" he asked one day while eating an apple. 

The nurse looked at him and smiled softly. He was in perfect condition, at least physically if you didn't count the hip thing. He was also a little weak due to being in bed for so long, but that would pass eventually.

"Well, first we need to get you out of here," she replied.

"You know what I mean," he said, not looking at her.

Silence. Poppy took her time to give him an answer that could satisfy him. 

"We contacted an orphanage, you'll go there until you come of age," Poppy explained carefully. "Or until you get adopted, of course."

An orphanage. Getting adopted. Those were things Remus thought wouldn't happen to him in a lifetime, he thought his parents were going to be alive forever, even if that was unrealistic he truly believed so. He just nodded, biting his inferior lip and holding back his tears. He could not cry again, if this was happening it was because he deserved it, crying about it was a way of feeling bad for himself for something that was only fair. That was his way of thinking. He deserved what he got.

"I will miss you," she confessed, smiling at him like a mother would do to his child.

Remus bit even harder, and managed to look at her without breaking into tears. Even if he felt the same way, saying that was the same as saying goodbye. 

"I hope someone keeps you company until we meet again," he replied after thinking his answer. She was satisfied with that, and laughed happily. 

"Not in the conditions we first met I hope, but if anything happens, I'll be always here." 

Remus did not answer to that. After all, his parents promised him the same thing. He did not kept her word this time. He showed her a tiny smile, and continued eating the apple.

* * *

When Remus was released from the hospital, a lady was there to pick him up and take him to the orphanage. She was tall and slim, had black hair tied in a bun, wore big glasses, and was overall very strict looking. He was scared of her, but found out she was friends with Poppy Pomfrey, so he wondered if she was really that bad, or if that was only her appearence.

When they arrived to the orphanage, he had to admit he was intimidated by how massive it was. The word orphanage did not spark the idea of a castle, but there he was, in a castle. A plate with four names could be found on a wall at the entrance: Godric Gryffindor, Rowena Revenclaw, Helga Hufflepuff and Salazar Slytherin. He did not need to ask who they were to be answered, the tall lady told Remus those were the founding fathers and mothers of Hogwarts, the orphanage he was staying at. She also told him that it was currently being ran by Albus Dumbledore, who was in charge of everything there.

He was shown every single corner of the place while learning what every room was, he was left exhausted after the tour, considering he was just discharged from the hospital that day and felt weird and wobbly. Even so, before the accident he was not exactly the athletic type either, so everything seemed to be against him, not only his condition but also the magnitude of the place. If the castle was gigantic on the outside, when walking on the inside the orphanage seemed to be endless. His hip was on a bad mood.

Despite feeling he could fall asleep while standing, there was a place that picked his interest as soon as they passed it: the library. The library was huge, he've never seen so many books in his life, even if his father was a doctor and had many books, he was not as wealthy, and could not afford every work that existed, just some he truly desired. Even if Remus started reading in an attempt to copy Lyall, he grew fond of that habit, and read whenever he had the opportunity. Stories helped him get distracted from reality.

Without thinking twice about it, Remus spoke his first words in almost two hours of walking. He asked if they were allowed in the library or if it was off limits. The lady seemed surprised but also pleased with the question, her face softened a little bit and gently told him he could go wherever he wanted in the establishment except offices as long as he assisted meals and lessons in time. At least those were good news.

They finally arrived to the dormitories, which was his second most favourite place to hear about after the library. Red seemed to be the main aesthetical choice there, giving a pleasant sensation of cozyness and warmth that were really soothing. After all they've been through, the lady finally told him her name, which for some reason seemed not to be important before.

Minerva McGonagall announced that his belongings were already in the bedroom, adding that he would be sharing with three other boys he still hadn't met. She left him at the door, and told him dinner was at eight before disappearing.

When he opened the door after having to go upstairs again (which Remus thought was ridiculous), a young boy his age was looking through the window, peacefully.

The first thing Remus noticed about him was his hair. It was long and barely grew beneath his shoulders. It was curly and black. Visually, he had really nice hair.

The boy turned his head to look at him, and the image struck Remus for all eternity.

The second thing that came to his attention was that the boy had bruises all over his face, yet realized they were healing. They were not recent, but were not old either. The pale green-ish and maroon colours that mixed in his snowy cheeks contrasted with the eyes, which happened to be the third thing he acknowledged: he had the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. Blue, his favourite colour, the most amazing shade of blue. It was impossible for Remus not to gasp at that.

The fourth thing was his smile, perfect and white. Picturing a boy with bruises smiling as if he was the happiest kid alive shook him good. It was unnatural having him grinning like that while being injured. Still, he was doing it, even if it felt a little disturbing. 

"Finally! What took you so long?" the boy exclaimed, not expecting to get a reply.

The last thing Remus learnt about him that day was his name, as he approached him with confident steps and that smirk still drawn on his face. His hand extended while looking at Remus intensely, piercing through his soul. It was a powerful stare, and one in where he couldn't take his eyes away, as if he was being hypnotized. Remus found his heart beating quite fast at the sight of this guy, even going as far as admitting he was attractive and visually appealing. Remus took the offer and shook his hand politely. 

"My name is Sirius Black, blame my parents on that one," he spoke, breaking the long stare after a while just to look around the room while smiling. His eyes were quickly back at Remus after finishing his inspection. "Cool scars, how'd you get them?"

Remus Lupin knew that getting to know him could be really dangerous. Sirius Black was the most captivating human he had ever met.

Sirius Black behaved like the world around him was not important, as if tragedies were just chapters people had to go through one day just to continue leaving. Sirius Black behaved as if his face wasn't covered in bruises and as if he wasn't in an orphanage talking to someone that lost his parents two months ago. Strangely enough, this kind of attitude was compelling and helpful on a personal level. He couldn't get enough of that.

"I'll tell you if you tell me about your bruises first," Remus replied while letting go of his hand.

Sirius widened his grin and crossed his arms, checking him out without any shame.

"Deal. Fancy a chocolate?"

Their story began like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to get this out of the way: I'm not an english native speaker, I'm actually from South America, so I'll try my best to capture Wolfstar's british essence, I gladly take suggestions on how to improve that!  
> Additionally, this is my first time writing a fanfic in english and publishing on Archive of Our Own, so I apologize in advance if there's anything messy or confusing, I'm still getting used to everything here. Last but not least, please be nice when leaving criticism, I'm doing my best and do I take criticism as a learning tool, you can say what you want to say nicely and I'll consider it for future chapters.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy, welcome back. Okay, just a quick note: in this fic, Sirius has blue eyes, because the books never specify the actual colour and I've always imagined them that way. I know many people like the idea of Sirius having grey eyes, and that seems to be the canon now which is actually awesome and makes sense, but idk why in my mind Sirius always had blue eyes.  
> CW for child abuse, once more.  
> Okay, that is all I wanted to say.

Remus discovered Sirius's family had dropped him off at the orphanage early that day, he did not want to ask for further details, but anyone that heard that story could tell his folks weren't really the best.

Both of them were now sitting at the edge of their respective beds, facing each other. Remus was mostly impressed by how comfortable and big they were, it really surprised him to see those types of beds in an orphanage, but yet again, Hogwarts wasn't really a _common_ orphanage, more like a magical place to where he was sent to, even if he had no idea why. He decided not to give it that much of a thought, and ripped the wrapping of the bar.

Remus took a bite of the chocolate and trembled, forgetting everything. The way it melted in his mouth and the flavour it had was wonderful, it had been a while since he had eaten chocolate, but he adored it, it was his favourite candy, and couldn't thank Sirius enough for gifting it to him.

They decided to share their stories. Well, Sirius did, he seemed to be the keenest on doing so. The moment they sat down, he wouldn't stop talking. He didn't even ask for Remus's name so far.

Sirius pointed at the bruises on his face. "These were made by my mother, how nice of her, she shouldn't have bothered," he said while laughing a little.

Remus thought Sirius had a nice laugh, even if his sense of humour and content of his comments were a bit unsettling. He couldn't laugh at what he was saying, and something told him Sirius didn't want to either.

He took another bite and decided to talk. "Did it hurt?" he asked, intrigued. He didn't remember how it felt to have pieces of glass in his face, so he genuinely wanted to know.

Sirius shook his head in denial. "Not really. Bruises are fine, unlike..." he stopped mid sentence, eyes darkening a little while remembering something that seemed better being forgotten.

Remus set the chocolate bar aside and looked straight at him, worried for that drastic change in his expression.

"Unlike wha--"

Before he could even finish the question, the door suddenly burst wide open, startling both teenagers and almost making him scream. Loud noises drove him mad, and Remus was not the only one reacting negatively. Sirius froze in his place, as if that reminded him of something from the past. Whatever it was, it must have not been a cheerful memory. His oceanic stare was now cold, distant and pale. Apparently, Sirius had a lot of unresolved issues.

After collecting himself and his emotions, Remus could finally focus on the new figure inside the room. For starters, he had no scars nor bruises whatsoever, but was tall and thin like Remus was. He seemed joyful while looking at Sirius, his eyes wondering over his direction through his round glasses, he also appeared to ignore what a comb was, again, just like Remus. The thing that spoke to him the most though, was how Sirius reacted to his presence.

"Prongs?" he asked with a shaky voice, as if he was seeing a ghost.

The aforementioned took a step forward with a huge smile as perfect and white as Sirius's one was. His gaze was gentle, reminding him a bit of Poppy. Remus thought that even if he did not know the boy, with eyes as bright as that, he meant no threat, in fact, he seemed kind, Remus could perceive it. 

Sirius stood up from his bed and walked towards the boy, hugging him closely, as if his life depended on it. The stranger followed instantly.

Remus felt very intrigued about their bond, they seemed pretty close and must have known each other before Hogwarts, at least that was the conclusion he could come up with.

"I couldn't believe it when Peter told me you were here. I still can't believe it Pads." 

They both laughed and then parted their brotherly embrace, as if being there was good news. Sirius looked as if his mind was processing a lot at that moment, but he couldn't stop smiling at the same time. "I imagined you were getting lonely without me so I just had to intervene. You've learnt how to make good entrances on the meantime though, I've taught you well."

The stranger laughed, and so did Sirius. Remus felt like an outcast, standing awkwardly and feeling really conscious of his own movements. He swallowed, trying not to stare too much at the pair but failing everytime, ending up looking at them until he realized he was doing it and decided to start counting bricks on the wall to keep himself distracted. He got to thirty six when a voice headed his direction. "I'm James, James Potter. Looks like we'll be sharing the room."

Remus was too embarrassed to talk. He wasn't the talkative type, and panicked everytime he had to socialize with new people, that's why he thought Sirius was a fascinating being, he felt comfortable around him from the get go. Even so, he smiled politely, making sure James understood he was pleased to meet him. James just smiled in return, brushing the back of his head.

"Is he mute?" he asked Sirius shyly.

The black haired boy laughed loudly, staring at Remus with a huge grin. It made his heart skip a beat, blaming it on hating being the centre of attention.

"Yes, he is. In fact, he was just writing about how much he hates it when people call him that."

James's face went white, and approached Remus really quickly, grabbing his hands and staring at him right in the eye. He seemed regretful, remorse painting his expressions. Remus was left dumbstruck, truly speechless, beginning to question whether he was indeed mute or not. He definitely didn't know how to react, or what to do.

"I'm really sorry I said it like that, it will not happen again, I promise," he apologized fast, but Remus could tell he meant every word.

Remus glared at Sirius furtively, and caught the boy throwing signs at him, basically shouting through his hands and motions. He was begging Remus to play along, and even if that felt naughty, he stared back at James, patting his shoulder, acting his role.

Sirius raised his thumbs in the distance congratulating him, and Remus felt good. Really, really good, almost forgetting for a moment what got him in that building in the first place. Almost.

An abrupt sensation of guilt struck him. While his parents were underground, he was alive and having _fun_ _._ His parents were dead, and he was alive, happiness was undeserved. Remus felt like the trashiest human being standing.

"Are you okay?" Sirius enquired, appearing concerned.

Remus blinked, absent in his ideas. He fixed his eyes on Sirius, and nodded, not capable of saying more. Even if he tried to make Sirius not worry, the boy was not convinced, and continued analysing his persona, thing that seemed to be natural for Sirius. He just didn't seem to care if he stared too much or too little at someome or if he caused people to feel uneasy, he just stared, not thinking or caring.

James grabbed the door by the side and stood in between the stairs and the room. "I'll go downstairs, Peter must have saved us a spot in the table so you'll know where to sit, see you lads there?" 

They both nodded and James closed the door behind him, but Sirius stood still, looking at Remus. He came across as doubtful, like he wanted to say something and was stopping himself from doing so.

"What?" Remus asked at last, puzzled.

Sirius pursed his lips and finally broke eye contact with him, looking at the rug. His fists were clenched, knuckles white as snow. Remus thought that if his skin turned any more paler, he would become invisible. The teenager remained silent, tongue-tied. He wanted to say something, that much was clear, but Remus was not in a good temper at the moment and couldn't be arsed waiting forever. Besides, he was starving.

He opened the door without turning back. "Er, thanks for the chocolate," he said, and walked towards James's direction, leaving Sirius alone and with the word in his mouth. Not for long though, he quickly caught up.

* * *

After reaching the Great Hall, Remus got extremely confused. They were in a gigantic castle with a million stairs and rooms that made him feel like he was in a maze, they had big, comfortable beds, apparently they had to wear uniforms (as Peter, James and everyone around them was wearing one except for Sirius and him), and now, dinner. Dinner was mindblowing, the dishes seemed straight out of a fairytail (considering he never had a meal like the one in front of him before) and caused Remus stomach to growl wildly. He thought _seriously, how on Earth is this place an orphanage?_

"Pads, did your parents allow you to read my letters?" James asked while cutting his meat.

Sirius sighed and nodded, reaching for his cup. He looked much better, nothing like the guy he saw in their bedroom. "They didn't know about them, but I stopped reading at the letter one hundred and something that included _Evans_ content, I hope you can forgive me and that I didn't miss that much." 

James rolled his eyes and mimicked a fake laugh. "They weren't _that_ many, you hurt me Pads," he said proceeding to clean his mouth. "As a matter of fact, you did miss something. Evans has accepted going on a date with me, this guy is no longer being pied off," James said with a victorious grin on his face.

Remus thought it was pretty weird that none of the boys were focusing on why they were there. He did notice that James _was_ worried when he first saw Sirius's bruises, but quickly got himself together and continued to smile and hug him. He also wondered about the strange nicknames, but decided not to focus that much on them for now.

He was taken out of his thoughts when Sirius applauded proudly. "I can't wait until you tell me how you got to hold her hand in two years," Sirius mocked him, making James laugh and throw a small piece of bread at him.

Peter ate in silence, like he didn't care about the dynamic of the two, and Remus could actually see why. It was like they had their own bubble and no one else was allowed to enter, so Remus did the same, and started devouring like he had no control.

He did not realize that the three teenagers were confounded by the way he had dinner, and were looking at him without even hiding it. Remus blushed, putting the cutlery down and feeling really exposed and humiliated. The boys were focusing on him as if he was naked or something, he wanted to hide under the table. The expression on their faces made him think they were about to grab their stuff and leave him alone.

Instead, his pulse began racing when Sirius smiled, not to make fun of him, but just accepting that side of him. It was certainly weird, to trust someone that doesn't even know your name. Sirius put down the fork he was using, and grabbed a piece of chicken with his bare hands, eating it energetically.

Remus was astounded, Peter was terrified, and James was having all of it. The last one copied Black and started eating meat with his fingers, putting it between his teeth and pulling to tear some pieces apart, munching loudly and with his mouth opened, it was really annoying, but to Remus it was the best kind of annoying it could possibly exist. Peter, on the other hand, was shaking in his boots, basically begging them to stop, like a cowardly rat. They didn't stop, they continued, and it got even worse, ending with sauce up to their noses. By the time they finished with the main dish, dessert blew Remus away. He asked himself, once again, what on Earth was going on at that orphanage.

By the end of the evening, James and Sirius were still cleaning off the remainings that were left in their palms and faces after the show they had put on, Peter looked like a red balloon at the edge of exploding, yelling at both of them for that behaviour. The green eyed boy was disconnected from them for a moment, enjoying his jam roly-poly until a hand quickly snatched it from his plate. He looked up instantly and offended, but couldn't erase the grin that was left there since dinner. Sirius was grinning back, tongue out of his mouth, trying to make him angry.

"Prat," Remus said, not even mad about it.

James nodded while frowning. "You were raised by the aristocracy and you steal from other people's plates? How shameful," he said, now shaking his head, eyes closed. It took him a moment to open his eyes at the revelation, viewing Remus with an expression worthy of a picture. "Hey! You spoke!"

* * *

The teenagers were told to go to their room, and they obeyed. James wanted to show them some places, but he was well rested and didn't have a hip issue. Besides, even Peter wanted to sleep.

When the four of them entered the room, they changed into their pajamas and covered themselves in bed, pulling the courtains to avoid any light. _Seriously_ , Remus thought, _this place is insane_. The teenager was knackered but couldn't fall asleep. He yawned, rolled over, he uncovered himself and then covered once more, he resumed his brick count but felt bored rather than sleepy after a while, everything was meaningless. That's when he heard whispers, and started listening. He did feel bad for one moment, but at the same time, he couldn't avoid listening to them, unless taking his ears off was something possible.

The two voices were undeniably from James and Sirius, and that wasn't the normal talk they had when Peter and him were around, this was private, he knew about those, his parents would do that rather often when they thought he was asleep. He always had a hard time resting, especially in a new place, but neither Sirius or James knew that. His first time at the hospital was like that as well, but it got better with time, he hoped to have the same luck in Hogwarts, but for now, he tried to forget about the voices, yet they were ineludible. Even if he couldn't comprehend the conversation, he knew they were talking about family stuff. After some time, they stopped, and Remus poked his head out of the curtains just to encounter Sirius about to enter his own bed.

His eyes were red, he had been crying.

"Are you okay?" Remus questioned, pulling the blankets off immediately and sitting in bed.

Sirius smiled softly and scratched his arm, without even looking at him. Remus has never seen a boy look so miserable.

"Didn't know you were awake, sorry," he dodged the question, laughing quietly. 

Remus frowned and didn't say anything. They were practically strangers, he shouldn't be asking things, it was out of place. Even if he was left with a sense of frustration and curiosity, it wasn't his place to ask.

They remained in silence for a moment just in case Sirius was willing to say something more. Nothing. Instead, he climbed back in bed and closed the curtains. Remus was about to do the same, but stopped when he saw the sky through the window. Full moon, massive and imposing, his eyes were fixed on the majestic blue of the sky and shimering dots all around. He couldn't look away, and if Remus had to be sincere, he didn't exactly want to.

He got out of bed and stared, his heart thrusting painfuly. Something about the moon caused him a rare mixed sentiment of agony and comfort. Remus certainly did not think about the accident, he barely remembered anything of that night, but the feeling lingered, immovable. He wanted to cry, scream, and be hugged so so much, he wanted to feel his mom's arms around his body, he wanted to hear his father's voice again, heck, he would be grateful if he could just see them once again, just one more time, that's all he asked for, but then he remembered. The word _alone_ felt like twenty trucks running him over. Lips trembling and wrinkled face, he began to sob, hand grasping his clothes as he did. The feeling of emptiness was the only thing that has been following him since that night, the sole idea that he was smiling and having fun moments ago when his parents were dead made him sick, it was like he was getting over it, like he was leaving them behind, like he didn't love them anymore, like he did not care anymore. He sobbed even harder, containing his voice at the same time, praying not to wake anyone up.

The sound of something opening next to him startled Remus, and he started to wipe off the tears running down his cheeks as fast as he could. The sight of a frowning Sirius Black welcomed him, and what's more, he seemed to be crying as well. Remus was frowning too, and Sirius couldn't help but laugh when he realised they've been doing the same thing this whole time just some steps apart from each other. The laugh quickly died off, and they stared at each other in silence. At least they weren't crying anymore.

"You never told me how you got your scars," Sirius said in a nasal sounding voice.

Remus didn't feel like telling him now, he was too tired to narrate a tale to capture Sirius's attention. He just leaned back against the wall, still looking through the window.

"I wasn't exactly given the chance to talk about it," he threw at Sirius, now his gaze on him.

He could swear he saw Sirius blushing, hiding his head under his hair by looking down. 

"Shit, sorry, I tend to do that."

Remus almost laughed at that, but just decided to go sit on his bed and rest his legs, moonlight entering the room. He extended his bare feet to view them illuminating. "Not let other people talk about their scars?"

He did not look at Sirius when he said that, but the sound of his laughter made his body tingle a little bit.

"Yeah, exactly. I usually forget to ask their names too."

Sirius seemed ashamed, passing his fingers through the back of his head, gazing him quickly and with a shyness that seemed quite uncharacteristic of him, knowing the details he could gather of him in their first day of meeting. Perhaps Sirius _was_ shy, but Remus's first impression of the teenager was one of a boy that had the world in the palm of his hand.

"It's Remus Lupin," he declared.

After that, there was silence in the room, until some snoring came from James's bed. Remus decided to lie down again, closing the curtains. Maybe Sirius did not hear him.

After some seconds, Sirius finally spoke. "Blimey, blame your parents for that one as well."

If such comment came from James, Peter or anyone else, he would have lost it right there, probably punching them in the process, yet for some reason, Remus couldn't stay angry at Sirius Black. Instead, he found himself grinning to himself.

"Blame my parents for that one indeed."

Sirius Black did not reply, and Remus slept like a log after that.


End file.
